Menace to society appointed as Newcastle manager. Oh dear God...

So that's that. We found a new gaffer. I should be happy. Souness has proven European pedigree, and to say the man is tough, and will come down on our more wayward youngsters, is something of an understatement. But that could also be a problem. As football fans have seen, when Souness doesn't like you, he lets you know, and isn't afraid to hit said player. His feuds can sometimes look like a hard man taking a tough stand (Dwight Yorke); They can also seem like the tantrums of a petulant child (Andy Cole).
So which Souness are we going end up with? Only time, and the collective attitudes of Craig Bellamy, Lee Bowyer, Titus Bramble, and the enfant terrible, Kieron Dyer, will tell. Sorry, I was going to write something funny, but there's nothing like angry Scottish people being put in charge of my club to make me nervous. My mum's Scottish, you see. I know how rage-filled they can be.

This is gorgeous, signing off.

SYSTEM REBOOTED.

INITIALISING SARCASM PARAMETERS.

CYNISCISM FUNCTIONING AT PEAK LEVELS.

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People of Earth, I have returned. After almost two years on the sidelines, I am storming back into the worlds great debates, like some aging prize fighter, gathering himself up for one last shot at the title, before oblivion sets in. On these pages, you read will postings of vitriol, of pleasure, and... well, other stuff. About, you know, things. Current affairs. Sport. Movies. Music. Politics. Books. And if it steal any readers away from Woman's weekly, some lecherous celeb gossip. Transmission to begin at 3AM, GMT, SEPTEMBER 06, 2004.

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