Ten people life wouldn’t be the same without

1. God
Him upstairs, The Lord, The Big Guy, Allah, Our Heavenly Father, Jehovah- Whatever you want to call him, he’s important. The Man without whom no chart gets compiled

2. Chris Reason
Channel 7’s Sunrise anchor. Got out of bed on wrong side? Allow world weary and cynical morning newsman scyth clear path through your day, courtesy of laconic, dry wit and amusing conservative observations. Ignore silly blonde bint at his side, Chris is the real deal: A prick of the highest order

3. Sandra Sully
A reason to stay up late. This woman could tell you the world was ending, you’d just sit and stare at her in awe. Definition of a MILF

4. John Howard
Doddering old footsoldier of The West, Howard is your classic junk yard dog: An ugly little fucker who picks fights with bigger dogs, never backs down, and is unswervingly loyal to his owner

5. George W. Bush
Owner of afore-mentioned mutt. Redneck, sabre-rattler, posseser of ‘the button’. A man incapable of stringing a sentence together. That’ll be the Leader Of The Free World, then

6. Martin Tyler
“Owen.. still Owen.. Anderton… ANDERTONNN!!!!!”. Aah. Music to the ears.

7. David Beckham
Commander of The Three Lions, England’s finest. Witness the furore over Beckham’s broken foot earlier in the year: Had it occurred in the home fixture instead of in Spain, can be certain Diego Tristan would have been hung, drawn and quartered, the remains posted in all corners of Manchester to serve as a reminder to the Argentinians: Leave our boys alone!

8. Osama Bin Laden
World’s first bona-fide ‘super-villain’ ie; Nasty, but not actually in charge of a country. So scary the Americans have plum forgotten about him, due to his refusal to hang large neon sign around neck and parade himself up and down Pennsylvania Avenue

9. Thom Yorke
A true artist, a man who suffers so we don’t have to. Radiohead’s linchpin is so intense you actually believe he’d ‘do’ a Van Gogh if he thought it would help the next album

10. Tony Blair
Sorry, I meant Tony Soprano